I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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