i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
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Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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