haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Iβm making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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