haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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