YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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