I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
