My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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