and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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