seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
