the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
