I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
