I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize