how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
