Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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