Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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