God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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