am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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