Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
