I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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