just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
as a side note pls kill me
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