Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
