her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
love makes seman taste better
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
