There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
