Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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