Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
