bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
