matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You were trust falling into bushes
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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