I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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