It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize