I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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