Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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