Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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