i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
