the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize