Buhtt sex?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
