kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Farmville is her only friend.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
