Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
