it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
