u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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