Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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