I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've blown a few things in my day
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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