So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
