marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
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Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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