I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
