shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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