A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is her dick bigger than yours?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
