We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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