Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
