i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
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