she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
