I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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