im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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