Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
