Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize