dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize