Sponge bath it is.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
