when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i out mim tonsoeep
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