If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
