I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Actions speak louder than pants.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize