im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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