well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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