He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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