with your own penis?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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